A New Beginning
It is the first month of the New Year and we are reminded that we can make small changes that will affect our lives in big ways. In appearance-conscious America most resolutions seem to resolve around eating and exercising with the hopes of losing what we gained during the holidays or for some of us what we have gained during the last five holidays. We should walk to work instead of driving, eat an apple instead of dessert or my favorite, tap your foot since fidgeting can burn up to 100 calories a day. Of course, everyone around you is going crazy listening to you tap but you can eat a small apple that day without guilt. We hear how if we started putting away a small amount of money when we are young the investment will be huge later. A million little changes that pay off big…and yet most of us don’t do them. We try for a week or a month and then life crowds in and we go back to our old ways.
I recently watched a young man struggle with changing his patterns. As a result of past choices he had spent almost two years in jail and now found himself free with a new beginning laid out before him. His motivation to change couldn’t have been higher and he could articulate clearly what he didn’t want. He didn’t want to go back to jail. He could also describe what he did want; he wanted to find someone to love, to have children and work hard at his job. Yet, he is now sitting in county jail awaiting a trial that will most likely put him in jail for years to come.
Watching his story unfold has been one of the most frustrating experiences of my life because he is so much more than this bad choice he keeps making. He is funny, giving, kind and humble; he is a man with so many wonderful traits being wasted because although he wanted to change he didn’t and I am left wondering why.
Last month at Christmas my daughter Melissa gave her dad a wonderful gift. As he unwrapped a canvas with the words of a familiar song on it, she explained the meaning of her gift. When she was a little girl her dad would tuck her into bed at night and sing this song to her as he rubbed he back, singing her to sleep. As an adult she is a social worker who oversees a neonatal floor in a hospital and this song has become one of her coping skills. In a job where she deals daily with infant deaths, child protective services and teenagers having babies this song is how she re-centers herself on what is true and unchanging; God is her strength and He will meet her as she waits upon Him.
We all sat crying as she told this story that so honored her dad and then laughed when she said she sometimes makes her husband sing it to her and he sheepishly sang us a verse. What stood out to me was that Melissa had chosen a wonderful coping skill. She could have chosen alcohol or food or some other vice that would have made her feel better for a moment but would have left her even less equipped to deal with the hardships of life.
So I sit and question what needs to happen to change our behavior? When my friend gets out of jail next time what can he do to not just dream of a different future but go after that future. Even better what can he do right now to strengthen his chance of changing his future? I am brought back to Melissa and her song. Paul said it this way in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if any person is in Christ, they are a new creature, the old things passed away, behold, new things have come.” I know it is in my relationship with Christ that my life is changed but choosing to live my life for God can be hard because I can’t put God and myself first at the same time. I have to live my life acknowledging it impacts others and seeking God’s help in selflessness. I won’t arrive at this ability suddenly one day but rather I find myself on a daily journey being changed by Him. Paul acknowledged the conflict we struggle with, knowing what is right and choosing wrong saying, “For the good I want to do, I don’t do, but I practice the very evil that I don’t want to do.” (Romans 7:19) I know in my own life it is focusing day by day on making God my coping skill that changes my behavior from selfish to selfless.
God built in beginnings and endings to our days, our weeks and our years. That is why I have hope even in the darkest of times and why I chose to celebrate new beginnings. On the best of days I can reflect on the blessings and the joy and look forward to another great day tomorrow. On the worst of days I am comforted knowing it will come to an end and that tomorrow is new with no mistakes. Since God has given me the gift of new beginnings I don’t want to waste them. So this is my resolution, I want to examine and refocus my coping skills, I want each day to reflect more of God’s grace and love to the people around me. I want to share with others all God has freed me from so they are encouraged and will seek God more in their own lives so that someday I could say like Paul, “And they were glorifying God because of me.”(Galatians 1:24)
“But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)
