The Gift of Love

When I think of God’s love being showered over me I think of His grace and How He died so that I could have relationship with Him. I think of His gift of forgiveness. But what came first…forgiveness or repentance? What does it matter? It seems to me our response to God is very different depending on our view of the answer to this question.

When I think of repentance leading to forgiveness, I become a bargainer with God, “Do you see how sorry I am, are you moved to love me because of how sorry I am for my failures?” But the Bible tells a different story. Romans 3: 31-39 says, “If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?” What can separate me from the love of God, selfishness-no, anger-no, bad choices-no. They may have consequences I am going to have to deal with but they don’t change how God feels about me. When I sit and and soak in the truth of God's love, realizing here I am and you love me, joy literally fills in my heart.

But a God who is comfortable being with the broken makes us uncomfortable. It is nothing new. In Matthew 9:12-13 the religious people of His day asked Jesus’ disciples why he ate with sinners, Jesus replied, it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick and He told those religious people to go and learn what it means when he said, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” His response tells me Jesus clearly came for me, the broken, the wounded, the person who needs His care, not a person who “claims” to be righteous but a sinner. He is not with me because I impress Him but because I need him. He says He desires mercy, not sacrifice, but when I put repentance before forgiveness, I will focus on sacrifice in the hope I can make myself good enough for God to love me. He saying to come sit with Him as I am, not like the religious people of that day who put on a front to show others how good they were.

Jesus knows words can sometimes flow over us and not soak in whereas a story is something we can picture and hold on to, so He told the story of a father and child that shows God’s response to our brokenness. In this story, a boy, has grown up and he is certain he can find more satisfaction by striking out on his own in a different county. But shockingly what he thought would fulfill him, didn’t hit the mark. In fact, he spent all of his wealth and found himself in need…so he did what we all do, “I can fix this!” He got a job feeding livestock but it wasn’t enough, he was hungry and broken. He knew his father was the answer, he could go home and become a hired man for his dad. The father’s response is amazing, Luke 15:20, “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. Can you picture this, daddy is standing on the hill, watching…waiting for his son because he loves him. And as the father’s forgiveness pours over the son, the son lays open his heart and repents, And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ First Forgiveness, then repentance. The father ran first to the child. How does this change how we respond to God? If I don’t see forgiveness as the true gift it is, I feel like I need to make myself better but not from my core where it really matters, but on the outside where I can cover up things and look like I’m not broken or struggling.

In alcoholics anonymous one gift of the program is putting shame out front. It is literally what introducing yourself requires, Hi, this is who I am, and I am an alcoholic. In putting it to the forefront it forces a person to examine who they are and admit it to others. They encourage members to pray in the morning, “God help me to not drink today.” It doesn’t get more real than that.

What if we all wore our shame on the outside? Instead of a scarlet letter A for adultery pinned to us, what if we had a ticker tape across our forehead that spelled out all our sins, liar, full of anger, hater, and judger. We hide those things from others, we hide those things from ourselves and we often hide those things from God which keeps us from being real and honest. It's keeps me from fully receiving God’s forgiveness because I’m not really being honest about who I am. In Brennan Manning’s book The Ragamuffin Gospel he tells a story of an uncle walking along with his nephew when the nephew sees his uncle is smiling and asks why. The Uncle says “The Father of Jesus is quite fond of me.” When I say to God, this is who I am and you love me like this, I feel peace and joy. He sees the ticker tape across my forehead and the truth is God loves me and God likes me.

How does the reality that God’s forgiveness is there for us change how we respond to others. The other day I was cleaning the siding on my house and I had some time to think. So I began an internal argument with a woman who had made me mad. Have you ever done this? I created a one sided argument where I verbally hit her with brilliant arguments that proved she was wrong. I thought I will say this to her and this to her and show her how wrong she is. At the end of my mental tirade, I wondered...will she be shocked at my brilliance…sorry for her stupidity…able to see how she was wrong? No, she would be defensive because I threw shame on her, because I was on the attack. When I don’t see others through the filter of grace that is extended to me I won’t be able to extend it to them. We end up in a terrible vicious circle of trying to win instead of trying to extend to others the grace, the love, the mercy we have received.

Colossians 3:13 says forgive as the Lord forgave you but if I don’t live in God’s forgiveness I won’t can’t truly forgive others, I can only hold them to a rigid standard. If we go back to the story of the son who came back to the father, the brother’s response in Luke 15:29 becomes our response. Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me a party, but when this son, who did things wrong, comes home you celebrate him. We look at ourselves and compare it to others and tear them down. In the end it doesn’t bring us peace and it doesn’t change the person. If I want them to move towards God and not toward judgement I have to see God’s grace towards me correctly.

So the takeaway of this is to spend time with God and open your arms to His forgiveness and love. To His gift of grace. The gospel is a story of grace, a story of forgiveness that is underserved. Love is literally the most important thing we can have. if I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains,but do not have love, I am nothing.. Love isn't something we earn, it is showered down upon us because God is full of grace, full of forgiveness, full of love. Forgiveness came before repentance. It isn't something we bargain for or earn but it is something given because of God’s character. It is free. That's what makes it a gift.